My Daily Dosage

Do you ever wonder how certain people seem to have their shit together? The ones you look at and think, wow, how do they do it? How do they manage to do it all so beautifully? I am curious about individuals who appear to have a slight edge and perform at a high level. What’s their secret sauce? What makes them unique? This notion of success has been consuming me. What is success? How do we define it, and why is it that only a handful of individuals explode with ideas?

I am in awe of Elon Musk; no doubt his genius is above my pay grade. Nevertheless, I know his curiosity is going to drastically change space exploration. His curiosity is a game-changer. I am equally in awe of everyday folks kicking ass in their communities—leaders, nurses, educators, activists, coaches, real people making a real difference. Agents for change positively impacting our community. Hats off to all the moms that have a full-time job, manage to bake the cake, have a spotless home, get the kids to their respective fields, and still manage to look strong and healthy. What makes these mortals so fruitful?  

I went digging for answers. I read a pile of business books. I spent hours upon hours studying individuals, seeking to understand the human psyche. I listened to podcasts and watched hours of YouTube videos. From the comfort of my pj’s, I was able to consume a ton of information. This alone is extraordinary. We have access to so much information; it’s mind-blowing when we stop to ponder just how powerful the internet is. I am diverting… back to bad-ass peeps. 

Here’s what I learned. Many factors contribute to success, you have heard all the buzz words, grit, persistence, determination, and mental toughness are a few examples. And it is true, these factors do contribute, but the most common thread that I picked up on is that high achievers stay connected and committed to daily rituals. A list of daily absolutes, non-negotiables that take priority. These rituals range from daily runs, diet restrictions and meditation. The lists are personalized to the individual based on their goals and priorities.

This got me thinking about my daily dosage. One of the principles that caught my attention is the F principles, a list of words that start with the letter F (keeping it simple) that encapsulates daily directives. Examples include family, faith, focus, & fun. The idea is to choose a handful of words that represent your intention and purpose. The list becomes an intricate part of your toolkit and ensures that we stay connected to things and the people who really matter. 

I like the ease of this approach and have implemented F’s in my life. My absolutes help me focus on my desire for personal development and transformation. I want to share my F’s and hope they motivate you to consider constructing your own list.  

My Core F’s (not in order)

Family

This is my tribe; therefore, my friends get bundled in this category. These are the people that remain standing after the dust settles. Family is my gathering place, my first-round draft picks, they have my back, and I have theirs. My tribe delivers truths and calls me out. I reciprocate as needed. I am vested in their happiness and well-being. I want to positively impact my family, and I need them to feel loved and appreciated. Family is my oxygen. 

Finances

This is simple, I aspire for financial freedom. This has evolved over the years. In my early twenties, I accepted a position as a personal assistant. My job was to run personal errands. Picking up her dry cleaning became a weekly task. I would use her credit card to pay a ridiculous amount of money for dry cleaning service. I remember thinking, this is what rich is, to have so much disposable income that you can afford to get your clothes laundered weekly. I couln’t wait to have a regular dry cleaner; this is how I would know that I had arrived. A few years later, I worked a corporate job and needed to use the dry cleaners regularly. You can imagine how disappointed I was to discover that this was not the secret to success. It certainly did not equate to wealth. But it did teach me to read the care instruction before buying a piece of garment.

Here’s the evolution of my financial mindset:

Age 5: I can eat as much ice cream as I want, whenever I want, and never have to pay a cent for it (my grandfather owned the local ice cream shops)

Age 10: Where is our next meal coming from?

Age 20: I need to graduate, get a job so I can afford a dry-cleaning service

Age 30: I need to ‘own’ a home, cars and provide for my kiddos

Age 40: I need a fancy house, fancy vacations, fancy cars, fancy schools, and fancy clothes, so everyone knows how much money I have 

Late 40’s: Scratch all the above. Healthy family, travel, tennis & wine 

This is where I am these days. I stripped the fancy and replaced it with things that bring me joy and peace of mind. When my hubby and I moved back to Michigan a few years ago, we made a deliberate decision to give up ‘fancy.’ Many friends comment, oh, you downsized, to which we reply, no, we rightsized. I don’t mean to mislead you; we live beyond comfortably. The point is that financial freedom to me is no longer about how much I can spend. Instead, it is about having the freedom to do the things I love with the people I love. 

Fuel

Fuel is what keeps this body moving. Fuel is wanting very much to stick around for years to come. This requires that I practice self-care for my body and mind. I started moving in my early twenties. I have experienced ebbs and flows with intensity, but I have always been active. Early on, my sis was my inspiration. We started going to step classes and to the gym. I discovered running in my thirties thanks to an encouraging boss. These days I spend most of my time playing tennis, on my Peloton, and doing weight classes. Movement fuels my body. But I don’t stop there; I also work on my mental fitness. Meditation, purging out the negative, journaling is all part of my daily cleanses—lastly, my diet matters. I attempt to be a mindful eater 75% of the time. This is a realistic goal, there are weeks that I fall short, and it’s closer to 50%. I am Latina, food is part of my culture. Progress, not perfection. 

Faith

My mom grew up in a strict Catholic home and claimed she was raised by nuns (that’s how much time she spent at church). She loved and hated this. She loved her personal relationship with the man upstairs but disliked what the institution represented—the guilt, the ‘this’ or ‘that’ approach often associated with organized religion. My mom has always understood that lines in the sand exist, meaning it’s never ‘this’ or ‘that.’ She took a sharp turn when we (her children) came along and introduced religion to us with a bohemian flair. We had complete free will to choose our own path. She gave us a few tidbits but mostly painted with broad strokes. The only thing she was adamant about is that faith is personal. She made sure we understood that faith is a feeling and that a relationship with God is possible even if you choose not to worship in an organized manner.   

As a young girl, I did not fully understand what she meant by ‘it’s personal.’ Lucky for me, I was an avid reader. My mom bought me every Judy Blume book, and when Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret showed up on my nightstand; I wasted no time. I was instantly hooked. Not only did it give me a glimpse into a secret girls’ club, but it also tackled boys and periods- perfect timing, all in my wheelhouse. Most importantly, it inspired me to talk to the G-man (God). So, I did, and I haven’t stopped. 

Over the years, I have had a lot of questions and lots of unanswered prayers. I certainly don’t understand everything. But this I know for sure, when life shows its ugly side, and it has, plenty of times, my talks with G-man help tremendously. 

I know too many that wait until the unthinkable happens to drop to their knees and pray. I know it’s never too late to pray. But I do encourage a relationship with G-man before shit hits the fan so that you are better equipped to handle the shit. Pain and suffering are inevitable, it’s called life. Don’t wait for life to bring you to your knees to pray.

My mama was right; faith is a feeling. It’s blind faith; you can’t see it; you can only feel it. My days are much better when I start and end with G-man. 

Fun

This is the easy one, and if you are not having fun, you are missing the point of it all. Enjoy, laugh, and for goodness sake, eat the damn cake! 

Bonus Round: My spicy F’s

F.L.Y.

You cannot possibly evolve without first loving yourself. The only way to do this is by taking a long look in the mirror and having a candid conversation with yourself. Think about things you say to yourself (I am fat, ugly, dumb, I can’t do that, I suck). What do you suppose the outcome of negative self-talk is? Better yet, would you ever say those things to your daughter? Your sister? Your bestie? I bet not. Yet, we have really nailed that mean girl voice when it comes to self-talk. Please Stop. Look in the mirror…do you see what I see? I see you, and you are perfectly made. 

F*ck Fear 

Fear is misalignment; Fear is exhilaration concealed as angst…if we peel back fear, we discover excitement- Fear holds our dreams hostage. Fear can kiss my ass.  

FEAR has two meanings; ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.

~Zig Ziglar

F*ck Falsehoods

The fuckery and fakery that social media has launched is not real. Do not get stuck on filters and poses. Do not allow disrupters and assytudes (my made-up word for assholes and their vomit) to take up real estate in your world. Take a hard pass. There is nothing less attractive than interacting with falsehoods. Do not be distracted by shiny objects. 

Fulfillment

This is me volunteering, donating, and giving away. This is me fulfilling others’ needs to lighten their load. This is me caring for others and making room at the table. This has always brought me joy, the ability and willingness to ask, how can I be of service? Fulfillment is also spreading kindness and joy. It is shining a light on illuminators and nudging others to soar in the direction of their dreams.

Flowers

I want flowers in my life; I want to buy flowers, plant flowers, and send flowers. I want to stop and smell the flowers, enjoy the colors, the varieties, and all the beauty that surrounds me. I am not waiting for a funeral to send flowers.

My f’s have offered me a roadmap, a clarity on keeping my eye on the ball. It’s my habit tracker; some people keep tabs on their steps, I like to keep track of my F’s. My daily dosage sets the tone for the day, and when I feel out of sorts, I literally stop and think ok, I am not balanced; what am I ignoring? Is it my family? Did I send flowers this week? Did I fuel today? Did I start my day right with G-man? Is a falsehood creeping in? 

Discover your F’s

What about you? What does your daily dosage look like? You most definitely have one; it just might not be serving you. Here’s my recommendation. Take a personal day. Grab a journal, put on your ear pods, and reflect. Use a pencil and start writing, how are you spending your days? Can you identify a pattern? How would you like to spend your days? What is essential to you? What is it that you want? What are you doing to get it? What do you dream about? It’s hard to say things out loud, especially the things that have lived in your heart but that you have never dared to share. Start by writing them down. Use a pencil; you can always erase and start again. Identify your F’s and begin living with purpose.

XO,