Ugh, the “girl power” movement? Sometimes, it feels like a steaming pile of BS. Don’t get me twisted; I’m all about women supporting women. But lately, I’ve been seeing a dark side – a performative one – that makes my skin crawl.
That curated Instagram feeds overflowing with inspirational quotes and #womensupportingwomen hashtags often mask a harsh reality. The biggest obstacle to female progress might not be some outside force but us tearing each other down from the inside out.
On the surface, it’s all kumbaya. We march, donate, and share empowering content. But scratch beneath the surface, you’ll find a silent war brewing. Backhanded compliments disguised as “concern,” undermining advice, and passive-aggressive jealousy masquerading as friendliness? It’s exhausting.
We love to blame the patriarchy for everything, and hey, they deserve some (a lot) of that blame. But the ugly truth is that women can be equally adept at sabotaging each other’s success, if not more so.
The Struggle is Real, Y’all
The fight for equality is a relentless uphill battle. We’re constantly pushing against the invisible barrier of the glass ceiling, shutting us out of leadership positions. The motherhood penalty unfairly penalizes women who choose to have families, setting them back in their careers. The never-ending pay gap reminds us that our work is valued less than men’s, despite our qualifications. And for women of color, the struggle is even more intense, facing additional layers of discrimination based on race and ethnicity.
It’s a paradox – we’re more educated than ever, yet vastly underrepresented in leadership positions. On top of these systemic hurdles, the additional burden of navigating negativity from other women adds another layer of frustration.
We should be a united force, a rising tide lifting all boats. Instead, sometimes, we find ourselves competing against each other in a game with rigged rules. This internal competition only weakens our collective power.
The “Girl Power” Charade: The Crab Bucket
What we need is real collaboration and support among women. But lately, I’ve seen a disturbing trend – a “crab bucket mentality” where women pull each other down. It’s like we can’t celebrate each other’s successes. Instead, we tear down those who dare to climb, diminishing everyone’s achievements. This constant negativity is exhausting. We should be lifting each other, not holding each other back in a pool of mediocrity. What happened to the idea of “glowing up” together?
Why We Fall into This Trap
We’ve all felt the sting of crab mentality – the idea that there’s only room for a few women at the top, breeding competition instead of collaboration. It’s easy to understand why this mindset exists. Societal messages can make us feel like there’s a limited number of “winning” spots, and another woman’s success can trigger insecurity. We fall into the comparison trap, focusing on what others have and neglecting our unique strengths and journeys.
Focus on Your Own Damn Lane
Comparison is the thief of joy, ladies, and it’s time to ditch it! Let’s stop focusing on someone else’s race and celebrate our winning streak. Jealousy is a natural human emotion, but we can choose how it affects us. Let’s turn that jealousy into fuel for our fire, pushing us to achieve our goals more passionately.
The first step to unlocking authentic support and collaboration is acknowledging our role. We all have moments where we fall into the comparison trap, and that’s okay! But what’s truly powerful is admitting our part and choosing a different path.
Curious, do any of these resonate with you?
- Are you jealous of other women’s success and sabotaging their achievements?
- Do you spread rumors or offer disguised “help” with malicious intent?
- Do you catch yourself gossiping about women?
- Do you hold back from celebrating others’ wins because you fear it diminishes your worth?
- Do you get territorial?
If so, know that you are contributing to the f*ckery of fake feminism. But here’s the good news: you can change this.
How to Build an Authentic Sisterhood
- Awareness: Recognize your role in perpetuating this negativity.
- Genuine Support: Celebrate wins, amplify voices, and call out hypocrisy.
- Embrace Your Individuality: There’s enough success for all of us. Stop seeing each other as competition.
- Challenge the Crab Mentality: Recognize it, distance yourself, or politely call it out. Real women lift each other.
The Power of Real Sisterhood
Imagine the power we could unleash if we stopped viewing each other as threats and instead focused on building each other up. True strength lies in unity built on trust and genuine empowerment. We deserve better, and so do future generations. Women’s empowerment doesn’t need fake cheerleaders who secretly hold us back. We need warriors who fight alongside us, fiercely and authentically lifting each other. Because together, as warriors, not crabs, we are unstoppable.
Xo- Mic
