The Circus

Thing 2, my sixteen-year-old is a typical teenager. He is a phone-obsessed, fantasy football all-knowing, music-loving, friend-centric nugget of joy. And like many kids, school is his least favorite responsibility. Here’s a recap of a conversation we had this week:

T2: I bombed the test 

Mic: You’ll get’em next time bud

T2: Bet. I get to retake, G. 

Mic: Why do you get a retake? In my day we never…blah, blah, blah

T2: Aren’t you always saying it is never too late, that we all get another chance to get it right

Mic: Yeah, I was referring to being a good human

T2: A retake is a chance to turn my not-so-great into something better. Hundo P-I must work for the grade.

Mic: Hmm, I hear you, but I am going to need a minute to process. In the meantime, stop referring to me as G.

T2: Bet, but you are a bit EMO about all of this.

Mic: I suppose G is better than B; still, stick to Mom. (In my head, EMO, that’s a new one)

T2: Lit. Say less, G. 

Pause

Thing 2 got me thinking, is he right? Do we deserve retakes in all areas of life? Is it ever too late to get it right in particular if we are willing to put in the work to be better and do better? 

The Circus

Consider the circus that we allow to perform in our daily lives? Monkeys run amok. Situations, ridiculousness, politics, family drama, an opinionated neighbor, a child who loves to perform tantrums in public, a difficult client, and eye-rolling teenagers are just a few examples. Stuff gets hurled our way, all day, every day. 

We are expected to rise above confrontational situations, to be the adult in the room. Still, often we dig in and double down, composure is out the window, and we wind up engaging, too often turning into giant donkeys! 

Chew on this poem by Portia Nelson, “There’s A Hole In My Sidewalk”

Chapter 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

Chapter 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

Chapter 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5
I walk down another street.

Reflect

It is not a question of whether we will be confronted with a circus, but rather, how we respond.

Consider how easily we take the bait and fall into the hole. We fill our days digesting junk (negativity, toxic relationships, victim mentality, etc.) and end up failing test after test, content blaming others instead of taking responsibility for our role in the circus. We are programmed to protect and excuse harmful patterns and too many of us are stuck in chapter 1, fighting for our limitations. 

Yet, life never gives up on us and continually offers opportunities for a retake, a second chance to respond differently. Can’t you hear the universe whisper, ‘Aren’t your hands tired, girl, of digging in the dirt? I know it’s scary, the road less traveled, but the street you keep taking is a dead-end, try another street; you have the power to be better and do better, turn the page, get to chapter 5. 

Redirect

I get it; it’s hard to redirect. I subscribed to the circus for many (many) years but have made a conscious decision not to renew my season pass. I have accepted that I cannot control the monkey show, but I can abso-fucking-lutely control my role/response. I refuse to allow my need to be correct to surpass my need to be happy. So these days, my internal dialogue goes something like this, drop it, leave it, stay….yep, I am using commands I use on Bruno, my dog, to train myself to walk away from the temptation to engage with ringmasters.

Life does give us retakes; it is up to us to decide what we do with the opportunity. Understand this; our choices create our reality. We can’t do the same things and expect different results. If we want to change the course of our lives, we must break patterns, i.e., quit the circus; it is never too late to take a new street.

Say less, G!

Did You Know?

Your brain will constantly rewire itself to suit the information that you feed into it. If you constantly complain, gossip, find excuses, etc., it will make it much easier to find things to be upset about, regardless of what is happening around you. Likewise, if you constantly search for opportunities, abundance, love, and things to be grateful for, it will make it much easier to find reflections of those things around you. It takes practice, but over time, this is a very powerful way to reshape your reality.