Oh, The Places You’ll Go

I spent the morning perusing through social media, catching a glimpse of faces I once shared the hallways with. The Chantilly class of 1991 reunited this past weekend for some good ol’ fun, and for a myriad of reasons, I could not attend. However, I would have loved a squeeze or two from a few of the peeps in attendance. From what I gather, a wonderful time was had by all.  

So fun to look through the photos. Wow, some have not changed a bit, at least not physically. Sure, maybe a few beautiful lines in faces, a telling sign that a life has been lived still wholly recognizable. Others, well, I am stumped. I don’t remember a few of the names or the faces. Either they have changed entirely, or my memory is failing me.

I can’t help but wonder, how has life been for the 91′ Chargers? Are they living their best life? Do they ever think back to their dreams and hopes from thirty years ago? Does their life resemble anything close to what they thought it would? More importantly, what advice would they give to the kid from thirty years ago, knowing what they know now? 

From the stories I hear this past weekend, no one cared what brand jeans were flaunted. No one seemed to be the least interested in ‘status.’ The smiles and laughter say it all, genuine happiness to be together, reminiscing. The truth is that labels got stripped right after graduation. Looking back, I am not sure why it was so crucial to categorize each other, but we did; we were all guilty of this. I suspect we all hated the titles assigned to us, living up to what others thought of us. Silly, really, but at the time, it is what we did. No more, now it just feels like we are one, the 1991 Chantilly Chargers.

Thing 1 Class of 2021

We gathered at the football stadium to celebrate the class of 2021. It’s hard to decipher between the tears and the sweat on a very humid covid friendly graduation ceremony.

The speech by the class president blows my mind; she eloquently delivers words ready for a TED Talk; she’s eighteen; how could she possibly be so insightful? 

Yes, there is a touch of naivety; the world has yet to chew her up. Still, I delight at the moment. She delivers hope and optimism in the likes of some of the greats. If she is an indicator of Thing 1 generation, we can all relax; we are in good hands. 

I curse social media and cringe at the amount of time my boys spend on their devices. Yet, it is undeniable; their generation is savvy and wise. Yes, categories still exist amongst teenagers, but they are also inclusive. More importantly, differences do not scare them. Phone cameras have captured both the beauty and the injustices of this world. Tik Tok delivers news at a rapid pace. There is no shielding our children from the stickiness that is life. Sure, I would love to be able to control the flow of information my kids receive. Of course, I would rather they not see all of it at a click of a finger. But I can’t control this, so I take the wheel and steer what I can manage, which is the dialogue in our home. Unlike my parents, who spoke of nothing, we speak of everything.  

1991

Thirty years ago, my world felt much smaller; opportunities seemed local, regional at best. I remember vividly passing notes with my crew between classes, our version of texting. 

I also remember school as a safe place. I don’t recall interruptions in my day with breaking news or debating politics. I can’t remember my friends having food allergies; we ate everything, specifically gallons of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Nope, no lactose intolerance is my crew. We certainly never worried about someone bringing a gun to school. At best, our parents skipped town for the weekend, and on occasion, an epic party was thrown with very cheap beer. Mostly, we spent countless hours at the McDonalds parking lot. Today, Airbnb provides ample opportunities for parties. 

For the most part, my 1991 bubble was trivial. Yes, we did stupid things, but we were pretty innocent and clueless compared to what kids face today. We didn’t have the academic and sports pressures. Sure some kids still had to go home and deal with unreasonable parents, but for the most part, we just passed the time a bit more relaxed. 

One thing that remains is the required reading in Highschool. My kiddos are assigned the same classics I was required to read thirty-plus years ago. I didn’t understand it then. I wasn’t interested in Of Mice and Men, The Great Gatsby, Romeo and Juliet. I get it now. I get that this is how educators attempt to teach life’s big lessons. An attempt to use the words of Steinbeck, Fitzgerald, and Lee to deliver vital messages. That no single individual can save the world as in The Catcher in the Rye; the conflict of good and evil presented by To Kill a Mockingbird; the conflict between freedom of thought and censorship as depicted in Fahrenheit 451. Indeed, valuable lessons. 

I chat with my boys, and it’s clear that they, too, don’t care for some of the classics (too young to appreciate). They, too, lose sight of the essential lessons. But the messages are vital, so I hand them the one book that delivers all they will ever need to know about life. Oh, The Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss. I’m sure you have read it, right? Can you think of a better piece of literature to capture the realities of life delivered with easiness? It really lends itself to resonate with all ages. Perhaps we make this part of the curriculum. 

We settle into our seats, and they call his name. Our small allotted covid section cheers as loud as possible. He walks on stage, The Ray-bans cover his eyes, but I see his big smile; he is beaming. He is proud; he should be, I am. I, too, sport sunglasses; thank goodness, the tears flow easily. 

I capture a photo of his crew, oh kiddos, I think, the places you’ll go. I want to sit them all down and recite Dr. Seuss. 

My Crew

I think back at my grad photo with my crew, oh, the dreams we all had. We were young, hopeful, and scared. I recently asked my girls to think back, remember graduation day, and share their thoughts; what were they thinking back then, I wondered? One friend recollects being so excited to finally be in control, thrilled to have a say in her life finally. A few admitted; all they knew was they were headed to university, pacified to be a step closer to a dream career. A couple described a feeling of uncertainty, of feeling lost with no map in hand. This was definitely my experience; I wanted things but had no clue how to achieve my goals. I knew that I didn’t have the opportunities my friends had, and I needed to carve my own way; I could only focus on what I lacked.

My crew confirms what I suspect. We all had dreams, but life quickly reshuffled the deck and started dealing with a whole new set of cards. Some of us got a crappy hand; a few got a royal flush early. One friend captured it best; as much as she planned, she said, life kept throwing her curveballs. She spent most of her life winging it; yeah, I think a lot of us have been winging it.

The truth is that life is not a straight line; there are peaks and valleys and lots of crossroads. 

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

Dr. Seuss

But here’s the thing, knowing this, I still say we get to choose. There are two types of people, the ones that put their head down and deal with elements as they are. You know, the ones who lean on their past to justify their presence and get stuck in the mud. AND there are the folks who strap on their weatherproof shoes, look up and choose their steps regardless of the elements; they figure out a way to push on and reimagine a new path.    

Oh, how I wish someone could have said to me, be patient and kind to yourself. Life is what you make it; we are always in control of our response. More importantly, I wish I knew then that focusing on what I lacked would never propel me forward. 

My Wish

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

Dr. Seuss

A group photo from the reunion pops up on my feed. Oh, look at those faces, how I wish them all a wonderful life. That is really my wish that they are joyous in their journey. 

I think of a few that are lost, still getting dealt a lousy hand. I say change the rules. It’s not too late to take a different path, to do something meaningful with your life. Clear your garden, plant new seeds, dream again. Strap on a new pair of hiking boots, stop winging it, start doing. 

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest. Except when you don’t. Because, sometimes, you won’t.

Dr. Seuss

And for those who are joyous and know their true north…who keep getting a royal flush, be humble enough to reach back and lift someone. You never know when your luck will run out or when you might need a new compass. Do your part to illuminate the path forward.

Many of us are parents now; let us all remember – the eighteen-year-old in us- maybe we can afford our children some latitude to not have every answer (just yet). Perhaps we soften our expectations and remind them first to love themselves that it is okay to change directions as often as necessary to discover their voice.

And To The Class of 2021

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

Dr. Seuss

I think of Thing 1, his whole life in front of him. I encourage him to take smaller bites to savor the moment and remind him; it’s not all going to be delivered in one piece. I don’t know what cards you will get dealt, but no matter what, you can, and you will get through the muck with the right pair of boots (mindset).