I Call BS- The Shit Shift

This Ain’t Daycare ~ Alex Toussaint

Wowzers, 2020 proved to be relentless.

Confession time, I relapsed. The gravity of Rona (aka pandemic, 2020) nearly gobbled me up and swallowed me whole. And for a hot minute, I lost my shit. My happy dance, my mojo, my positive vibes – all of it snatched up.

The Rona tornado made great strides to destroy everything in its path; the collateral damage was felt deeply in families, including yours truly. It did not strike me with physical sickness, but I did fall victim to emotional harm. Humankind disappointed me on a scale that I had never experienced, and it drove me bonkers—consumed by political divide, social injustices, deaths, shutdowns, and isolation. Well, you know, it was a lot, it is still a lot. But what did me in, what really annoyed me, was me. I was angry with myself for quickly slipping into a dangerous cyclone. How effortlessly I categorized people, ‘Oh, you vote this way, you must be this …fill in the blank’.  I became the very thing I deplore in others. I reached new lows and was undoubtedly not finding my joy.  Something had to give; the Rona version of me can kiss my ass.

Desperate for a reboot, I opted to clean out my junk drawer. Geez, that was fun, said no one ever. Why is it so difficult to look inward? I spent years stuffing dreams, emotions, and feelings in my junk drawer. Pushing them for a later, not sure when, just not now, making ridiculous excuses and offering empty promises. This whole time, I have been sitting back, waiting for permission from whom I could not even tell you. Because the only person standing in my way is and has always been me. I needed a hard stop, set the bull shit aside, and loudly declare, wait, why not me? Why not now?

What about you, how did you fare? Did Rona snatch your vibe?  How did you handle the setbacks, the disappointments? Did you choose to see the good, or did you shower in the shit? Are you still simmering in the shit? Are you angry, resentful, disappointed? Did you get duped into choosing a particular side? Are you labeling your neighbors? Maybe it is time you tackle your junk drawer too.

My take on 2020

We did not get the last call at the bar, the lights came on, and we got cut off.  We were told to go home and stay home.  We sobered up, and to be fair, in the beginning, most of us gave it a good old college try.  We tackled recipes, closets, garages, and puzzles. Our days grew long as our lives played out in slow motion, a 24/7-reel, Groundhog Day anyone.  Overscheduled calendars seize to exist, business trips that offer an escape are no longer a thing, children of all sizes consume our energy and our homes. The magnitude of the Rona effect is grave.  Our walls have shrunk and are suffocating as we continue to feel trapped in a national time out. For some, this time is a gift. A time used to reset and treasure. But for many, this is the furthest from the truth. For many, sobering up has exposed some hard facts—ugly realities of empty marriages, unfulfilling careers, depression, mental illness, and families hanging on by a thread. For many, the financial strain is too much to cope with—the lights exposed all the dirt, every dust particle. Instead of tackling the emptiness, many have decided to lash out. It is much easier to be angry at outside factors; it is easier to ridicule than to acknowledge life in pieces.

So, this is where we find ourselves, surrounded by frustrated and pissed off voices. The problem is that these voices are loud and toxic. These voices recruit and encourage people to focus on rage rather than affirmative action and growth. And the real threat is that this anger attacks one’s happiness meter and strips any hope of living with joy.

Get your life together, boo ~ Cody Rigsby

Be honest, are you cynical? Judgmental? Do you often feel left out? Are you easily insulted? Do you hold us vs. them attitude? Have you lost friends? Have family members distanced themselves? Maybe the social distancing you are experiencing is not due to Rona. It could be that you stink; actually, you do; you literally stink from swimming in shit. Your energy oozes gloom and doom. And frankly, it is exhausting. Life is challenging enough without your constant sprinkles of hostility. Sure, some will always attend your pity party, but the rest of us are busy. We would rather be around people who inspire. Most of us want to adopt a positive mantra, one of service—your crusade of sulking and complaining, Nah, hard pass.

You see, it is becoming increasingly difficult to sit back and listen to your cries. Life is punishing you, life is not fair, life sucks. Patience is wearing thin, especially since we are getting a real glimpse of actual struggle. Literally, people are drowning from financial strain, closing businesses, evictions, burying loved ones, and so forth. Perhaps you can appreciate why we are growing tired of the rampages from those of privilege – I refuse to wear a mask, they are trying to control me, what about my constitutional rights?  I am not dismissing the legitimate battle many endure; I am merely calling bullshit on the response. I am calling BS on the many, many of you crying wolf from a place of comfort. You stink.

So next time you utter a negative word, ask yourself, where did that come from? Who are you blaming for your unhappiness? Where does your righteousness stem from? And consider this, what if you are wrong? What if the chatter in your head is simply wrong?

Don’t you see that you are sabotaging your happiness? It is time to have a heart to heart with yourself. And just in case you cannot say it, -sorry darling, the reason you are so miserable has everything to do with you, your choices, your decisions, and your misguided belief system.

Shit Shift ~ Jessica King

One of my faves at Peloton (Jessica King) prepares us for tough stretches on rides with the Shit Shift.  The premise is that when we first ask our body to do something new or challenging, it can often feel uncomfortable, strange, and demanding. After a bit, something happens, it is no longer foreign, your body shifts gears, and you adjust to the new normal. Essentially that is what I am asking for from 2021; we need a good ole ass shit shift. 

First thing, first…Where, Why, How?

‘What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?’ (Robert H. Schuller) Really think about this, what would you do? Real change can happen, but you need to decide; you are holding all the cards.  Stop rehearsing your problems and choose to focus on the possibilities. Map it out, where do you want to go? Why do you want to go there? How are you going to get there?

Buh, Bye, Randy.  We are breaking up…

Randy, aka random peeps that suck up energy in our universe. The takers, the negative energy, victim mentality, social media forward of ridiculousness, the world is out to get me, my freedoms, my money. I am out. I am not interested in your one-person show, and let us be honest, you do not want me around either. You say life sucks, and I say, really, I think life is amazeballs. I am that annoying person pointing out the unicorn in the room. And since I am not likely to go low to make you feel better, we should part ways. I am not naïve; I am not exempt from pain, and yet I choose to fly around with a dream catcher in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.

Do you have a Randy in your life? A person that consumes your thoughts, a person you handed power and influence over to? Randy is a super spreader. He manipulates, he controls, his cancer spreads quickly. It is time to stop letting Randy live rent-free in your head. Permission denied, Kick him out.

The tribe has spoken

Take a page from Survivor, hold a tribal council; it is time to evaluate and eliminate. Take a closer look at your tribe; they fucking absolutely determine your vibe. No doubt about this.  Your tribe should work as a strainer, allowing you to dump all your crap, seep out the garbage and maintain the good stuff. They call BS when necessary but also offer positive vibes, reminding us that all is well and that this too shall pass.  They illuminate the path on our darkest days. They fill us with encouragement, truths, and of course, all things fun. The fire is gone with some peeps, have the elimination ceremony.

 What is your daily dosage?

Do you have a daily ritual? A list of non-negotiables that must occur (meditation, prayer, movement, journaling, etc.) If you do not, create one. Your daily dosage must go beyond coffee in the morning, although caffeine is essential. I suggest a daily dosage that kicks starts your ‘can do’ attitude to launch your momentum. Zilch will change if you do not start your day with intention and purpose. Spend a little less time on that beautiful face of yours and a little more time adopting daily rituals that serve your goals. 

Also, what are you blindly consuming?  Perhaps it is a 24-hour news cycle dedicated to a specific viewpoint. Or, are you wasting your days perusing through social media?  Comparing your life to others. Or worse, posting photos of yourself.   But not before filtering, editing, cropping, and posing, for what? To get a heart emoji of a photo you manipulated…this fills your happiness jar, seriously?

Your daily dosage must allow room for growth in your Where, Why, How. The rest is just background noise meant to trap and distract you from getting on with the business of doing.

Make a decision

Alrighty, mama, I need you to hang on, it is going to get bumpy, but the landing will be worth it. The Shit Shift is a massive undertaking; it requires uncomfortable conversations. Prepare to make use of your Wonder Woman shield. You will need it to block the many diversions hurled your way. You will need to plow thru the BS with laser focus. The shift will not happen overnight, but your decisions will dictate how quickly you progress. If you want to change, you will need to do things differently. As Jess King often says, “you are going to have to use your whole heart and your whole ass for it to happen.’

Together in flight,